This World Is Not My Home

When it rains, it pours--right?  Well the floodgates were opened on our family 3 weeks ago.  We started the first full week of November with a trip to the ER for my father-in-law on the last night of their visit with us.  We ended the week with our van in the shop and Arden sick with the crud (which she is still battling). But the worst news came in the middle.

Rewind with me for a minute.  On the morning of October 11, I found out I was pregnant.  We were so excited and filled with joy, but we decided to keep it a secret until we could tell our family first.  On Halloween, we shared the news with Arden and Tucker, and then Arden made the big announcement to our parents.  She was thrilled to think she would have another brother or sister to boss around ;)

Fast forward to November 7---right in the middle of our family flood.  It was the day of my 1st appointment, the day we would see that strong, fluttering heartbeat.  For me, this is the hardest appointment during pregnancy.  We lost our first baby 5 years ago--there was no heartbeat at my 8 week appointment, so you can understand why it's so difficult. The anxiety I feel while we wait for the ultrasound is so overwhelming. 

As soon as the ultrasound tech started the ultrasound, I knew something was wrong.  She wasn't saying anything, but definitely had a concerned look on her face.  I had been here before.  This was all too familiar.  I looked at Geoff (I couldn't see the monitor) and knew by the look on his face that my worst nightmare had come true--we had lost this baby, too.  

In the moment, I immediately felt like this time around would be easier.  I had been here before, knew the drill...it has to be easier, right?  Our kids were with us for the appointment and, in hindsight, I realize I held it together for them.  They had no idea what was going on, and I did not want/need to explain it to them there.

In some ways, this time was easier.  I have 2 beautiful, healthy children to be thankful for and I know that I am capable of having children (I was truly fearful that I couldn't have babies after my first miscarriage).  I was forced to stay busy---2 active kids don't allow for much time to dwell on the negative.  

But at the same time, it was even more difficult than the first. I could already picture what this baby would look like; I know what it's like to hold my brand-new baby in my arms; I completely understand the love a parent has for their children. Explaining to Arden that we weren't actually having a baby was not a conversation I ever wanted to have. 

But I would have to say the greatest blessing that both miscarriages have brought me is the reminder that this world is NOT my home.  I have learned to lean on our Father for all my strength and peace. This world is full of pain and sadness, and I am so thankful that I don't have to live here forever!

I am also thankful that God has placed such wonderful, Godly friends in my life to encourage me on this journey. I am blessed that no matter what happens in my life--good or bad---they are there to rejoice, comfort, cry, or pray with me.

God is teaching me so much in this season of my life and, although I wish I didn't have to endure some of these heartaches, I am forever thankful that they draw me closer to our Father!  

So, during this season of thankfulness, I will choose to focus on the blessings that we do have.  Satan would like me to dwell on all the things I want but I refuse to give into his desires. We are truly blessed beyond measure and we give all the glory to God!

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."

Psalm 29:11

Just Another Day

Arden and Tucker are playing so well together these days. I spend so much of the day just listening and observing their play, and it makes my momma heart so happy! 

It's not surprising that Arden loves playing school or being a mommy to her babies. She might be a little bossy and force Tucker to be her student or baby, but for right now, he is happy to oblige!

God has truly blessed our family and I am thankful to find little moments of joy with my babies every day!

Lesson learned

As a parent, you know this might happen. In fact, you know it's pretty likely. However, I really felt like we were in the clear with Arden because she has a very clear understanding of most things. But I was proved wrong tonight.

Arden was supposed to be my helper tonight in the kitchen. We were making spaghetti and she wanted to stir the sauce. When I told her she needed to move her stool to a different area so she could help, she said she couldn't because the stove was hot.....and then she proceeded to slap her hand on an eye that had been on just a few seconds before. 

Poor girl, the look of terror in her eyes was almost too much for mommy. I know it hurt so stinkin' bad. But our big girl was so brave. We soaked her hand in mustard for a couple of hours and then (thanks to April and Silas) we made a special blue medicine (desitin and aloe vera) and coated her hand with it. Now it's all bandaged up and she loves having a "paw" like Murphy :)

We've asked her SEVERAL times tonight if she will ever touch the stove again and her answer is a very clear "No!".....I'd say this was a lesson learned. Too bad it had to be learned the hard way!

Sweet Love

Arden came up to me this morning and said "mom, I just can't stop loving you!" and gave me the biggest hug! She completely made my day. Sweet girl, I just can't stop loving you either :)

I'm a BIG Boy Now!

No, Tucker is not potty-trained yet! 

(if the Pull-ups commercial theme song didn't come to mind when you read the post title, then disregard the previous comment!)

Tucker decided this morning he was ready to feed himself with a spoon. He has been interested in utensils for many, many months and often uses (or attempts) to use a fork, but a spoon is....well, it can be a bit messy to *try* to use, and this momma isn't a fan of messes! 

However, as I put him in his booster to feed him oatmeal this morning, Tucker immediately grabbed for the spoon....and I decided to let him go for it (but not before putting on his full body bib!)

He did a GREAT job! Our little boy is growing up too quickly, but we are having so much fun in the process!

I've Got A Whole Lot Of Catching Up To Do!

Well, I took a much longer break from blogging than I anticipated.  We've been busy, busy, busy this year and I don't think it's going to slow down any time soon.  

Here's a recap (with pictures) of what's been going on with our family!

Way back on Valentine's Day, Geoff took Arden on a daddy/daughter date!  Arden loved every minute of her time with daddy :)

We've done lots of playing---inside and out

(gotta love Arden's outfit choices!)

We've done a little dancing :)

Tucker has gone from this at mealtime:

To sitting at the table like Arden :)

We enjoyed our treats from the Easter Bunny and had a great time hunting eggs at Great-Grandaddy's!

Arden got her haircut for the very 1st time!  I had never even trimmed it, so it was definitely due for some TLC!

Before:

During:

After:

She also had her very 1st dentist appointment!  She did fabulous---she wasn't scared at all!

In May, Geoff graduated from UAHuntsville with his MBA.  He worked so hard over the past 3 years and we are very proud of him!  

Later in May, Brad (Geoff's brother) and Abby were married.  Geoff was the best man and Arden was the flower girl.  You can imagine that she LOVED every minute of her job :)

the happy couple :)

Tucker dancing with his great-aunts!

Arden dancing with Grandma and friends

and with Uncle Brad!

(Arden had a BLAST dancing.  She danced for no less than 1 1/2 hrs straight before crashing!)

Tucker turned 15 months old in June!  I don't have a picture, but I do have his stats.  He was 32 inches tall (75th percentile) and weighed 24lbs 10oz (50th percentile).  He is growing and changing like crazy. Every day he is becoming more of a big boy and less of a baby.  Now, if we could just get him to talk instead of whine/grunt all the time ;)

We also spent 10 days in Cocoa Beach, FL.  While Geoff was working each day, the kids and I spent as much time as we could enjoying the beach and pool.  A tropical storm moved through part of Florida that week and sent a lot of rain our way, but that didn't stop us from getting outside everyday!  Thankfully, we were able to enjoy 2 full days of sun before we headed home.  Unfortunately though, we only took 2 pictures while we were there and they are on Geoff's phone so I can't post them yet :(

I think I'm all caught up....at least for now!  I hope everyone is enjoying their summer as much as we are!

They Say It's Your BIRTHDAY!

On March 3rd, Tucker turned the big O-N-E!  

It seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital, making a stop at MaMaw and PaPaw's house so they could see their new great-grandson.

 I am so thankful that MaMaw had almost a whole year to love on our sweet boy :)

How on Earth have we gone from this:

to this?

Sometimes, we wish we could freeze time for just a little while.  To be able to soak in these sweet moments just a little bit more so they will be ingrained in our minds forever.  Time is just going by way too fast, so we are doing our best to enjoy every moment with our 2 precious kids!

At 12 months, Tucker:

weighs 22 lbs 12oz and is 30in tall.

is walking EVERYWHERE!

still only has 2 teeth, but I think he has a few that will pop through soon.

has a pretty strong temper!  He knows what he wants, and when he doesn't get it, he lets you know he isn't happy about it---loud and clear!  

climbs on EVERYTHING!

loves to be outside.  Thankfully it's been so nice out lately we've been able to spend a few days out playing.  

gets so excited when Daddy comes home from work :)

loves to put things together and take them apart (legos, lids on bowls, etc.)

is fascinated with the fork and has attempted (on several occasions) to feed himself.

says "duh duh duh" whenever he sees a dog.

has cut down to one nap a day and Mommy is finally okay with that, especially since he usually naps for 3+ hours in the afternoon!

wants to be wherever his big sister is :)

We had a small family birthday party for Tucker.  He loved opening presents, but really wanted to play with each one as he opened them.  He wasn't too happy with us when Nonna took the toys away (to put them together, install batteries, etc.) while he opened the rest of the presents!

I'm pretty sure his favorite part of the night was the cake!  He LOVED the frosting (just like his mommy!) and just kept sticking his mouth on the cake to get more.  

 Wait, where are you taking my cake?!

Our only family picture of the night...plus Silas :)

 Getting a little help from Arden :)  And yes, she did change clothes during the party.  This girl would change clothes every hour if I would let her!

Happy 1st Birthday, Tucker Gerrit!  Our lives were blessed beyond measure when God brought you into our family and we thank Him every day for you.  We look forward to many more birthdays with you!